Eight months on the wait list today. We started this journey in May of 2008 and here we are in 2010 still waiting. Really hardly anything has gone smoothly or according to plan. I knew going into it that international adoption could be a wild ride and nothing is predictable. It's funny though, because I was so sure we would have one of those mythical perfect adoption experiences. What was I thinking? Has anyone even had one of those?
My expectations have shifted so many times I can't keep track. When we first began the adoption process we were with a different agency. This agency told us the entire adoption process from application to homecoming would be just 4 to 7 months! If this had held true we would have been home with our child(ren) for a year already! I was sure we'd have our little one home by last summer at the latest.
When we started out with Gladney the estimated wait for a referral was 3 to 5 months, but when we finally went on the wait list (after many more expectations had been challenged) the estimate went up to 8 months for a healthy infant referral. Being optimistic, I thought there is no way it will take until January to get a referral; after all, we are open to a variety of special needs and our age range is broader than most. Every holiday or special family event that has passed since we've been on the wait list I've thought for sure we'll have our referral by then.
I really am okay with the way things have gone so far. (Though it would be nice if just one or two things would go smoothly!) Many people have waited a lot longer than us, like this wonderful family who waited over 12 months for their referral of twins! I have learned a great deal along the way that will prepare me for things to come. Through this process I am learning I am not in control nor should I try to take control. I like to make plans and know what's going to happen every step of the way. Sometimes I just need to chill out. It's not about me. It's about God and it's about the little person(s) waiting for us in Ethiopia. God's plans are usually better than mine anyway.
“Be still, and know that I am God”