I'm not really sure where to begin this post since we have kept this information mostly to ourselves up until now. We were advised from the beginning not to become too emotionally involved and not to tell anybody until things were more certain, which I see now was a very good idea indeed. Six weeks ago we were unofficially matched with a 17 month old little girl with a special medical need and today we were told that her birth family decided that they would like to try to raise her. My heart is breaking over this little girl I never even knew, but amidst the pain there is also joy. I rejoice in the fact that she will be with her birth family because in a perfect world that is where every child belongs. I do hope that they will be able to provide the medical care that she needs. I know I need to let go of my worry over her care and put her little life in God's loving hands.
I have no regrets about our decision to pursue this child even though we knew things were a little uncertain (although her birth family taking her back was the one thing I was very sure would not happen!). I am sincerely glad for the time God allowed us to imagine what our life would be like with her and for challenging us to step out of our comfort zone to obey Him. Our eyes and hearts have been forever opened to the needs of this world and this will not be an end for us. Now for the process of letting go our dreams of parenting this little one and all the life changes we were prepared to make in order to accommodate her needs.